Wishing you all a Happy/Merry whatever you celebrate.

Boy, what a day.  The last 24 hours has seen me having intense discussions with Pagans, Jews, one Buddhist, several Muslims and more than one Atheist.  Each one of them made valid points for why they didn't agree with my Merry Christmas and Santa’s sleigh thing from last night.  I respect each of their opinions.

But, each of us have opinions, just like each of us have assholes, and to everyone else, they both stink.  It doesn't matter how much you shine it up or what you decorate it with, it’s still nothing that other’s want to share with you!!  (well, perhaps, but we’re not talking in a sexual manner about either one)

I am sitting here, trying to understand why people can’t just be happy!  I mean, I know many people who are close in distance to their families, but, for whatever reason, they don’t want to spend time with them today or yesterday.  Two days when, traditionally, families have desired to be together.

My family is spread out like a tablespoon of sauce on a pizza crust.  We’re far in distance, and we can’t all get together for financial reasons as well as health ones.  We don’t get to spend the Holidays together, we don’t get to enjoy each other’s company and fellowship.  We are each in our own lives, with little overlap with one another.

I do my best to keep the Spirit of the Season.  But sometimes it’s so hard that I just want to sleep through until Spring.  It’s difficult to be joyous when you are surrounded by negativity.  It’s hard to be happy when everyone around you is so hateful and full of themselves.  Why should I even bother?  What difference does it make?

This year many wonderful people helped me to make the Holidays a little better for some people who are having a hard time of it.  We managed to get over 600 holiday cards sent out, many with small gifts, some with big gifts, for those people.  THAT gives me joy!!! 

This year I made sure that several others had what they needed to make a simple meal for today, nothing fancy, but good solid food.  THAT gives me joy!!

This year we, some of those same wonderful people who helped with the cards, made sure that a young man who had began thinking no one gave a shit, KNEW that there are many, many people who do.  We made sure an elderly woman who misses her family as badly as I miss mine KNEW that there are people out here to care if she has some joy in her life or not.  We made sure that her animals were taken care of, we made sure she knew someone cared.

WHY can’t everyone do that?  Why is it left up to the few to try and make a difference?  What about when the few get tired of even trying and just stop?  Will the world change for the worse?  Can it?

I've lost my Spirit.  I've allowed others to make me feel as though nothing is enough or that nothing is ever right.  I've allowed myself to be infected with the apathy that seems to run rampant now.  I am not enjoying the Season or the Spirit that goes with it.  I have allowed the people who think THEY have the only correct belief, the only TRUTH, to infect me with their insanity.

It sucks!

I miss feeling the warmth of the Season.  I miss the excitement and the joy that I once felt.  That I had felt until the last several days.  I miss the hope that I felt every single winter.  That hope has left a gaping hole in my heart.

People can and do manage to infect each other with darkness.  I have fallen victim to it myself.  There is no spring in my step today.  There is no fellowship that I am a part of today.  There is no hope blooming in my heart. 

There is only depression and sadness, despair and and hopelessness. 

Should I say thank you to those who have killed my Spirit?  Or should I just walk away from them, like they have walked away from the rest of us?

If you are with family, please, enjoy them.  If you have the Spirit, please try to share it.  Don’t allow others to dampen your happiness.  It sucks when you do, believe me, I know.  I am there right now.