Last night, after having survived the worse Christmas of my life to date, I was watching some movie on television. It was a Christmas movie naturally, I mean it WAS Christmas Day, and there were the usual commercials advertising the great sales that began at 6 a.m. today, or the wonderful year end auto sales events.
Anyway, not really paying attention, I was drifting in an out when I heard, “We are your Valentine Shopping Stop!” VALENTINE SHOPPING?? It was STILL Christmas and already the media and the corporate assholes are pushing us toward spending money on VALENTINE Day??? WTF??
I know more than a few people who have yet to recover from the insane amount of money they felt the need to spend this year. After all, Corporate America tells us what is the “acceptable” amount to spend, right? And this year, Corporate America seemed to think that we, the American People, had all hit the lottery and were drunk with spending power. Never mind that we are raising a generation of idiots that are incapable of simple things like playing outside or knowing that just because the Road Runner ties dynamite to his back in order to fly it’s okay for them to. (Seriously?? We watched those cartoons as children, and no one had to tell us that it was NOT something to do, or that is was NOT real. Now, our children can’t watch Looney Tunes because they are to violent for “young developing minds” and cause “irreparable damage to the psyche”. WTF??? Seriously? How many of the people coming up with that idea HAVE a damaged psyche?)
Today, the 26 day of December, the very day AFTER Christmas, I have seen not one but TWO commercials, both being shown during the airing of a Christmas Program, attempting to brain wash us into spending money we don’t have for more things we don’t know because, “She’ll you love her if……” Really? So now “love” is dependent on how deeply you go into debt for a piece of metal and a stone that is simply coal under immense pressure? If you don’t spend the absolute correct amount of cash the woman you have given your heart to will simply STOP loving you?? Who’s brilliant idea is this?
We, the consumers, are allowing the greed driven media to brainwash us into believing whatever the money hungry corporate machine tells us. Now, I know that some of you are thinking, okay, she’s one of those people. She is Anti-consumerism!!!!
Nope, I am NOT!! I am ANTI-DRONE, ANTI-BRAINWASHED, ANTI-IMMEDIATE GRADIFICATION!! That is what I am.
I don’t believe ANY of us have to be the little spending machines that the large corporations demand we be. We DO NOT have to go out and spend thousands upon thousands of dollars in order to be good parents!! Children do NOT need a new I-phone at the age of 4!! Hell, the only phone they need at the age of four is a PRETEND one that cost about $5 TOPS!! NOT a $700 phone capable of dialing Bumfuck Egypt!! I look at it this way, if you allow your toddler to play with your phone or worse BUY them one, and they call some stranger halfway around the world and run up a $10,000 phone bill…..you are simply REAPING WHAT YOU SOW!! Yup, I said it, you DESERVE to be deeper in debt for a phone than you will ever be for a house BECAUSE YOU ARE A IDIOT DRONE OF THE LARGE CORPORATIONS!! As a funny man says, “Here’s your sign!!”
Just because the idiots on television tell us that our children “deserve” the BEST electronics does NOT mean they deserve ANY electronics!! Toddlers with cell phones and computer games lead to FAT KIDS!!
Remember when we were children?? We did the most ludicrous things!! We actually OPENED THE DOOR AND WENT OUTSIDE!! OMG!! Can you imagine??? OUTSIDE??? Do kids today even KNOW what outside is??
We played with balls and sticks!! YUP, STICKS!! We made up games to play!! WE RAN!!! We played tag and Mother May I and Red light, Green light!! OMG, we actually EXCERISED!! And guess what, CHILDHOOD OBSEITY WAS NEVER HEARD OF!! Yeah, there was one or two “fat” kids, but not that was the exception NOT the rule!!
We didn’t have kids with high blood pressure or high blood sugar! None of our classmates died of a heart attack or stroke. We actually used our bodies AND our minds!! We played in the mud and caught bugs, we ran, we jumped, we imagined entire worlds and fought off bad guys with dirty, germ infested sticks!! And here is the KICKER, we SURVIVED!!
But then again, when we were kids Christmas didn’t begin the day after Halloween either!! And there was a break between Christmas and Valentine Day!!
No one felt obligated to BUY someone an expensive piece of whatever in order to feel loved. We KNEW we were loved!!
And the advertising that actually says “She’ll love you if….”?? Well, in my opinion the very fact that someone’s love is based on what you GET her, well, that bitch is what we used to call a gold digger and if you actually believe that she will love YOU and not your MONEY then you deserve to have your money disappear as quickly as rats abandoning a sinking ship!
I guarantee that long before Valentine day is here there will be commercials for Easter and all the candy that our kids “deserve”. Because, CANDY is what Easter is all about,right?? I mean, that rabbit shitting colored eggs was right there the day the stone was rolled away, right?? He sat right there, his little basket of chocolate goodies over his paw, popping out colored eggs for all the little kids to find!!
Yup, that’s how it happened!! We are ALL stupid enough to believe that one……or at least big business thinks we are!!
Before the dye has even dried on the hard boiled eggs we will be seeing ads for flowers saying things like “Your Mother will know you love her if…..” you could finish that statement with things like, you spend $200 on a bouquet of hothouse grown, genetically modified flowers!! This mother would know her kids loved her if she got a phone call and maybe a visit. Hell, a hand written letter would mean more to me than flowers that are simply going to wither away!!
Before the Mother’s Day flowers have begun to fade there will be commercials for hot dogs and soda, boat trips and vacations. Yup, Memorial Day is up next!! And you know we can’t have that particular holiday without there being picnics in strange places, places where you have to stay at least overnight at a high priced hotel far away from home!!
The Memorial Day hotdogs will still be steaming when we begin to see commercials for new trucks and watches, phones and razors for our Dads!! Because Dad can’t be sure of our feelings for him unless he has a high-priced watch/phone/truck/razor or whatever. And you know that wrapping paper won’t be in the trash before we see some celebrity on the television telling us we need to go to Washington D.C. or Gatlinburg or Chicago to celebrate the Independence of our Nation with fireworks, apple pie and vacations!! New trucks and cars, sales on all things electronic and most things made of cloth!! Because nothing says Freedom like owing thousands of dollars on a new vehicle or living room set!!!
The fireworks will be a distant echo when we begin to see advertisements for the dreaded Labor Day sales!! Yup, the White Sales will descend upon us!!! We will be poked and prodded into going into the stores to buy even MORE shit we don’t need!! They will tell us we absolutely HAVE to have these things or else we won’t have the conveniences that make us “cool”, “attractive”, or ”privileged” so that our neighbors will envy us!! We NEED to have these things, CORPORATE AMERICA says so!!!
As we leave the Labor Day Sales we will pass the Halloween displays, with their array of candies, monsters, makeup and decorations!! Yup, Halloween is THE coolest Autumn celebration!! Absolutely!! Just as any advertising agency!!!
Our Jack-O-Lanterns will still have candles glowing inside when they begin bombarding us with turkeys, dressings, cranberries, travel and “Thanksgiving gifts” (have NO idea what the hell those are, but I saw them advertised this year!!) Airlines will have special rates if you book by September! Hotels will give you a two for one room rates if you reserve for Thanksgiving by the last day in August!!! Yup, book early and you will save, save, save!!
The Turkey won’t be defrosted before they are advertising BLACK FRIDAY!! Yup, that horrible torment day where they try to force us into believing that the BEST deals are ONLY on that day!! We should all go and fight with one another in order to buy yet one more item we DO NOT NEED!! We should trample complete strangers in order to BUY a new television to play the new video games on!!!
As we recover from the bruises and contusions of Black Friday we will endure a deluge of Christmas movies, Christmas songs, Christmas advertising for Christmas gifts that we DO NOT NEED!! Hell, we usually don’t even want the junk that other people buy us, because there is NO THOUGHT, NO INSPIRATION, NO PERSONAL TOUCH in any of the trash we see advertised on television!! What happened to the afghans that Mom used to make? Or the quilts that Granny sewed for us? What about the bookcases Dad worked so hard on, or the beautifully made bedspreads of yesterday? What happened to the balls and bats, the jump ropes and Frisbees??
What happened to there being at least a few days between Christmas and Valentine day?? Or any of the holidays for that matter? WHY must we rush everything all year long?? Why must we have fat, spoiled, unimaginative children? Why is it so important that our phones do everything EXCEPT charge themselves?? When did we become a Nation of lazy, greedy, self-centered drones driven by the Corporate Machine??
And what the hell happened to New Year’s celebrations?? I haven’t seen ONE add for that, but there was just another one advertising jewelry for gold digging women who will only love you if you buy them the biggest, most expensive ring out there, regardless of how much you can afford!!!
Way to go Corporate America, you make us proud…….
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