The Hot and the Dead

IT’S BEEN A WHILE, BUT HERE IT IS……A NEW INSTALLMENT OF NEARLY DEAD!!

ENJOY!

“Get the fuck up, we don’t have all day!”  Ms. Poorbitch’s voice reminded her of a rust hinge, raw and painful to hear.  “I don’t suppose Lucy told you what is going on here, did he?”

The look on Lisa’s face spoke volumes, she had less idea what was going on now than she did when she entered the building, now she felt as though her sanity had left with Elvis.

“Okay, I guess we begin at the beginning, but you’ve got to get your ass off that floor.  It’s distracting.”  Ms. Poorbitch had been shuffling things in a large black leather bag that Lisa took for a purse.  Without missing a beat Ms. Poorbitch dumped the contents on the desk, reached for the crinkled pack of cigarettes and promptly stuck one in her mouth and lit it. “Get up damn it.  You may have time for this, but I most definitely do not. “

“Like I give a shit.”  Lisa muttered as she climbed to her feet.  Dusting what she hoped was grit from her once beautiful black skirt, Lisa considered simply leaving and forgetting this whole episode.  But the rent was due and, although living forever had its perks, not many people would hire a not quite dead girl.  Which is what prompted this visit to the silly old slug who sat glaring at her right this second.  The equal rights of the not quite dead.  Lisa cleared her throat.

“Ms. Poorbitch.  When I came here today it was under the pretext of discussing an interview concerning the rights of the not quite dead, NOT to be talked down to, hypnotized, flung into the center of some crazy relationship between you and Lucifer OR to end up on the floor getting my outfit ruined by, by, well, whatever the fuck this shit is.”  Lisa’s attempt at keeping her cool, professional calm evaporated as her hand skimmed across a particularly sticky spot of goo.  “What the hell is wrong with you people?”

Ms. Poorbitch through back her head and the most beautiful laugh erupted from her pale, cracked lips.  Lisa was stunned as the big woman lost herself completely to the laughter.  Just when Lisa thought she had gotten a hold of herself, Ms. Poorbitch began again, rolling, hysterical belly laughter issued forth from her bloated, sickly body.

Shaking her head, Lisa turned and left the office, hysterical, rolling laughter followed her all the way to the elevator.

Entering the dreaded silver box, Lisa pushed the button for the ground floor expecting a leisurely ride to the lobby followed by the long walk back to her apartment.  Maybe Momma Fred would have some work for her, if not she would be joining the thousands of homeless, all of whom were nearly dead in one way or another.  

Guitars screeched from the hidden speakers, a scratchy voice screamed “It’s stupid, contagious, to be broke and famous”.  Lisa wondered if the elevator was enchanted to play songs with lyrics that applied to the passengers’ particular mood.  The voice suddenly changed, although the basic sound was the same.  Words about life caving in and collapsing around you blared from all around her. 

‘Depression in a box’, she thought as the elevator slowed to a stop.  ‘Finally.’

As the doors silently slide open, Lisa’s mouth flew open in surprise.  Standing before her was Lucifer in all his glory, naked as the day he was created.  Flawless bronze skin stretched over long, lean muscle created a landscape a woman could lose herself in.  A dusting of fine dark hair led to....

“Don’t you know how to knock?”  Lucifer’s voice was hard with emotion. 

Looking down, Lisa realized his voice wasn’t the only thing hard.

Lisa turned and stepped back into the elevator, her face scarlet, which was a trick considering the fact that her blood had stopped pumping years ago.  Jabbing the elevator buttons with fury and embarrassment, Lisa couldn’t help imagining herself pressed up against Lucifer’s hard body.

“STOP!”  Lucifer’s voice thundered, halting the elevator doors before they could close.  “Come here.”

Lisa shook her head, not daring to turn to face him. 

“Nope.  I’m done”, was all she said.

All resistance fled as a hand closed over her forearm.  Heat flooded her body, even her corpse cold toes felt warm.  Moisture pooled in places that hadn’t been damp in years.

‘Maybe this isn’t so bad’, she thought.  ‘I haven’t been warm in….”

Darkness closed in and Lisa crumpled to the floor.