Is there a serial killer in/around Chillicothe, Ohio?

As you all know, I usually write funny stuff, or stupid stuff or satire.  But today I am going to be serious, because this is a serious issue.

Chillicothe, Ohio is a small town of approximately 22,000 souls located along side the Scioto River.  It’s a beautiful little place, the people are friendly and the landscape is beautiful.  The rolling hills are dotted with red, gold and dark green as Autumn settles in.  For those of you who know nothing of this area, it was the center of the Hopewell tradition, ancient Native American who traveled across to the land to the Rockies thousands of years ago.  It is also the site of Mound City which is one of the largest concentrations of burial mounds in the world.

Besides the historical and cultural aspects of this area, Chillicothe is basically a nice little town in the center of nowhere.

Sounds boring?

Not the the denizens of Ross County Ohio.

Sounds like a place no one wants visit?

Not if you ask the millions of folks that have attended the Moon Flower Festival or visited the renowned burial mounds.

Sounds like a safe little town where the most exciting thing is the occasional speeding ticket or drug dealer getting busted, just like a million other places in America?

You’d be right about that, well, until recently that is.

You see, Chillicothe Ohio has become a frightened little town in the last year.  Particularly if you are a woman with children.  Or if you love a woman who has children.

You see, two women disappeared on a mild day in May, 2014.  These two women, 27 year-old Charlotte Trego and 30 year-old Tameka Lynch, were friends.  Both women had battled drug addiction and Ms. Lynch was suffering from Lupus as well.  Ms. Lynch was known to prostitute from time to time to support her habit.

Both women were mothers.

Both women had troubles.

Both women were struggling.

Ms. Lynch’s naked body was found lodged on a sandbar in Paint Creek about 20 miles from Chillicothe exactly 21 days after she went missing.

Ms. Trego has not been seen or heard from since that fateful day in May.

People having a difficult time coping with their lives disappear or even overdose while trying to escape the pain they deal with on a daily basis.  It happens all the time, right?

Well, on November 3, 2014, exactly 6 six months to the day after Trego and Lynch disappeared, another woman, 37 year-old Wanda Lemons “disappeared out of thin air”.  She is the mother of five children and she has yet to be found.

All was quiet in Chillicothe after that day in November.  The search continued for the two missing women, although the death of Tameka Lynch was treated as an overdose and not really investigated too deeply.  The children of these women cried over their mothers, they had nightmare, they had behavioral problems, they worried.

And yet the two missing women were not found.

On Christmas Eve, 2014, a young woman announces that she is pregnant.  She was happy as she shared this wonderful news with her family.  She visited with family and was honestly excited at the idea of being a mother.  The last time her family or friends heard from 20 year-old Shasta Himelrick was when she spoke to her grandmother on evening of December 25, 2014.

Her car was found abandoned early the next morning, reportedly out of gas and with a dead battery, in a rural area close to some railroad tracks.  All of her belongings were there, her purse, her cellphone, things she would have taken with her had she left willingly.  Her grandmother was told there was an undisclosed amount of blood found in the car as well.

Her body was found in the river on January 2, 2015.  The official statement released by the coroner states “Cause of death – drowning, Manner of Death – undetermined.”  They are saying she committed suicide.  The family cannot believe that verdict.

Six months later another woman, 26 year-old Tiffany Sayre disappeared.  Tiffany had two children whom she loved very much.  They miss her every day, as do the rest of her family and her friends.

Tiffany’s body was found on June 20, 2015, wrapped in a sheet beside a creek bed not far from where the body of Tameka Lynch was found a few weeks before.

Another woman, Timberly Claytor 38 years-old, was found shot to death in an abandoned building not from from where one of the other victims had been found.  There has been an indictment in the death of Ms. Claytor, although investigators are reportedly still looking into the circumstances surrounding her death.
Then there is the case of 22-year-old JAYME BOWEN, last seen last Thursday morning April 10th, 2014, at around 10 a.m. Jayme was making the short walk from her sister's home to her parents' place, located a few blocks away.  She never arrived.  And hasn’t been heard of since. Jayme is from Columbus, Ohio, only a short drive of 48 miles.  Could she be one more in a growing list of missing or dead?

What about 25 year-old Megan Lancaster?  She is from the Columbus area and has been missing for more than two years now.  Her car was also found abandoned and she also left behind a young child.  Megan’s car was found in Portsmouth, Ohio, which is approximately ninety one miles from Columbus.  The odd part?  Chillicothe is DIRECTLY in the center between Columbus and Portsmouth!

Then there is 22 year-old Jade Humble who went missing on December 4, 2014.  She, as well as others in this story, just disappeared.  It’s out of character for her, she is known to be a devoted and loving daughter, as well a a dependable friend.  She disappeared from Cincinnati, Ohio, which is about a hundred miles away from Chillicothe.

There are other women that are missing from this area as well, some stretching back as far as 2006.  But of course, the popular train of thought is not connecting all of them, I mean, what serial killer would work an area for nine years?  Besides, there has been arrest in several of the cases, so there is no way possible that it has all been the work of one person, right?

I’m not so sure.  I mean, I am not a serial killer by no means, I’ve never killed anyone (although there have been times……).  But I look at it from this point of view, IF you are doing something (killing/abducting women) that is illegal and you find a place where you can continue your “work” without being suspected, then why would you leave?  IF you are killing/abducting women and there are more than a view “at risk” women within a hundred mile radius, why would you go any further away?  IF other people are being arrested in connection with some of the missing/slain cases, do you really want to leave?

Yes, there have been arrest in some of the cases, people like Ernest J. Moore A.K.A. “Dollar Bill”, who was declared a “”Parole Violator at Large” is being thought of as a suspect by the Missing Women’s Task Force. He is still in custody today.

But does he actually have anything to do with the disappearances of these women?  Are all the disappearances and deaths connected or are we just seeing shadows in the dark?

Do a little bit of research for yourself.  Search places like https://www.findthemissing.org/ for missing women in Ohio, then notice how many are  missing from the Columbus, Chillicothe, Cincinnati, Portsmouth areas.  There are many.

Is this area of Ohio just a dangerous place for women to live?  Or is it just a fact that those that are troubled by drugs or get involved in the sex trade JUST DO NOT MATTER to the rest of us?

I’m sure all of us have known people who, for whatever reason, get involved in drugs.  We may even know some who have, again for whatever reason, gotten involved in prostitution.  Does that mean they are of lesser value than the rest of us?  Does that mean that their lives do not count?

Lately we’ve heard a lot of people screaming “Black lives matter”, shouldn’t it be ALL LIVES MATTER?  I’m not talking racial lines, I’m not talking police/public violence, I’m talking about women who are dying or disappearing at an alarming rate!!

THEY MATTER!  Drugs and prostitution doesn’t equal being valueless.

Please, if you are reading this and you know ANYTHING about any of these women, CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES.

Or, go to https://www.facebook.com/missingpersonfromohio for more info and/or contact information.
There are many FB pages dedicated to the missing, check some of them out, YOU could have information that is important, even if you don’t realize it!!

And please, keep these women and their families in your thoughts and prayers.  We never know, one of us could be next.

What happened to humanity?

You know, things have really sucked for me the last three months.  I’ve spent most of that time living in my car with one or two dogs.  My car, by the way, is a 1999 VW Beetle, NOT meant to be slept in, let alone lived in.  There is NO room to stretch out, and when you add a Jack Russell and a Chihuahua, there is even less room, then add all the stuff you need to survive, clothes, deodorant, dog food, dog blankets, flea dope, dog toys, pillow and blanket for yourself…..there is NO ROOM at all. 

But we’ve made do with what we have, and I’m thankful we have that.  The weather here has resembled Southeast Asia for the last two months, rain, rain and more rain, with periods of steam, fog and unbearable humidity and heat.  Yup, it’s been great, and the Bug has been a Godsend for keeping us dry, well mostly.  I’ve gone to sleep a few times and forgotten to roll up the windows only to be awakened by cold rain and unhappy pups!

Anyway, that is NOT what this blog is about, well, not directly anyway.

You see, I’ve noticed something very strange these last couple of months.  The ONLY people that desire to assist a person in my situation is the ones that CANNOT AFFORD TO!!  Yup, the people that do what they can to help anyone in a worse situation are ALWAYS the one that don’t have much themselves.  It’s strange, but true.  I have done it myself, given  half of my food to someone who didn’t have any.  I’m not telling you that to make you think better of me, not at all, I am telling you that because I want you to realize HOW I was raised.

We were taught that a person helps ANYONE in need in whatever way they can.  We would feed people, we would give them clothes or food, we would “carry” them to town (for those of you that don’t understand that it means drive someone to town) and sometimes even charge food/gasoline/kerosene for them on our account.  We didn’t have much, we worked hard, but we loved life and all of those around us, even when they did us a bad turn.

Now a days, NO ONE much cares if their neighbor has enough to eat, they are more interested in what the latest clothing trend is or in playing with their newest mid life crisis toy to bother with “that” type of person.  Around here, in this “lovely” little county that Dante obviously wrote about in his classic Inferno, there are many that have need.  There are few, very, very few that have no where to live.  BUT, there are MANY, MANY, MANY that would rather run their mouths about people, ruin people’s lives, screw people over and flaunt what they have to those that have nothing.

People, and I use that term loosely, like that are the same ones that have the empty houses sitting around, falling down now from non use, that they pay taxes on each and every year and they would RATHER THE DAMN THING FALL DOWN THAN FOR SOMEONE TO LIVE THERE!!  WTF??  And trying to buy something on land contract???  WHAT A JOKE!!  I have been told I have to have anywhere between $3,000 and $8,000 for a down payment BEFORE they will talk to me about an owner finance.
PEOPLE, I AM LIVING IN MY CAR!!  If I had $3,000 I would be living in a rental at the least!!  WTF is wrong with some folks?? 

The bank, actually a person working there, even said, “The way things are we can only lend to people who don’t need the money, if people need the money we can’t afford to lend to them.”

Personally I make $23 too much to get assistance of ANY type other than a whopping $11 in food stamps, which would buy a gallon of milk and two loaves of bread (Don’t have a place to keep the milk, don’t have a need for the bread).  When I tell them that I am homeless, they say “Go to the homeless shelter” (which is about 60 miles away), when I say my car won’t make it, which it won’t, they say (with a straight face and malice in their eyes) “Walk”.  When I say that I have my pets, they say “Take them to the pound, or we can take care of it for you.”  Fuck the system!!  It only works for those that know how to work it!

I sit back and I watch these freaks that make the meth and sell it, or sell pills, or heroin, or rape/beat/molest children or each other, the ones that always seem to have a car and gas to run up and down the roads a million times.  You know who I’m speaking of, the ones who has their names in the paper every other week for one thing or another and never, ever, ever seem to spend more than a few hours in jail.  Those are the ones the system will help, not someone like me.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m tooting my own horn, I’m really not, I’m just stating the facts.  My daughter and I started a Christmas Card Project when we were down and out.  This year will be the fifteenth year!  We sent a few cards and small dollar store items to people who had less than we did (and believe me, we didn’t have much).  That first year I believe there were a total of seven cards and two packages that we managed to scrape up the money to send.  She and I both did without Christmas to do this, simply because we knew what it was like to have nothing and for it to seem like no one cared.

Since that first year the Project has grown by leaps and bounds!  Last year we, myself and many, many other people I managed to get involved, sent out over 700 cards and packages to people who truly needed it!  One young man hadn’t come out of his room for two months, he had what is referred to as the Suicide Disease (It’s a nerve disorder that causes extreme pain, most people suffering from it kill themselves in the first two years), when the first card come he really didn’t care, then the second and the third, etc., he started coming out of his room and actually going to the mailbox to see if there was yet another one for him.  His mother said that he was so touched that he actually cried, the touch of the tears on his face caused extreme pain and he said it was worth it to simply know that someone cared if he were dead or alive.  THAT IS WHAT HUMANS ARE SUPPOSE TO DO, CARE ABOUT ONE ANOTHER!!

The Mayor of Parkersburg, WV has put up signs where the “vagrants” used to stand and panhandle.  The sign says not to “assist them in their use of alcohol and drugs”, basically saying that anyone that is desperate enough to beg is obviously a drug addict or a drunk.  Hopefully he will never  have to experience the pain and humiliation of living in a car or under a bridge, I would hate for the world to see him as a drug addict or a drunk, it would ruin him, wouldn’t it?

We, this country, are suppose to be PC about everything.  Don’t us certain words, they might offend, don’t display certain flags, they might offend, don’t refuse to serve someone because you don’t believe they are living the way they should, you might offend, don’t own a gun, you might kill someone, don’t own certain dogs, they might kill someone, don’t do this, don’t do that.  What’s next?

Oh, I know!  Don’t be HOMELESS, YOU MIGHT OFFEND!!  Oh wait, that’s already the way it is in Parkersburg and a dozen other places, like Florida where it is against the law to feed the hungry (they are only one of 71 places that have either passed this law or attempted to pass it!!).  It’s offensive to be poor, down on your luck or living in a car or under a bridge, that’s why the homeless shelters are over run with people needing them, that’s why they go by first come, first serve, ALL OF THEM!!

There are SO many corporations and businesses that do all types of things to get tax credits, Clayton Homes is a fine example.  They manufacture homes and donate to many, many worth causes.  How about they donate a HOME to someone that doesn’t have one?  There are a lot of us out here, and believe me, we would LOVE to have a place to live.

So,  you’re wondering how I got on the internet to write this and post it if I’m homeless, correct?  Like I said, I am living in my car, and I am lucky enough to have a friend that allows me to park in her drive, that allows me to use her shower, that washes my dirty clothes when she does laundry and allows me to use her internet.  She doesn’t have room for me to stay here, but I can park here and have a few luxuries!!  Yay for friends!!  (Although I have some “friends” that are and have been more concerned with my pets and what was going on with them, to the point of making me feel so bad I wanted to drive off a cliff, so I guess it should be Yay for GOOD friends!!)  Also, BIG YAY for those of you that helped Russell help me!  We wouldn't be eating today if it weren't for that!!

I realize I have it better than a lot of other people.  I am thankful for that!!  I am thankful I am out of the continual rain, I am thankful I can get food and even coffee (The world should be thankful for that!!) every day! 

I just wish I had a home, I wish I could sleep in a bed, make my own coffee and shower in my own shower!  I don’t want to move in with someone on the pretext of this or that, only to find out that it is all a lie, have my dogs lives threatened and be told that if I were to “warm his bed” I could stay.  NOPE, NOT going to happen.  Is less likely to happen than Clayton homes giving away a house!!  NOPE!!  NO ONE WILL BE MEAN TO MY PETS and I WILL NOT FUCK ANYONE FOR A PLACE TO SLEEP!!  Did that offend you?  Well, tough titties, it offended me as well!!

I am done ranting now.  I’m going to take my pups and go to the park, they love to run out there and it makes them tired so they are more likely to rest while being in the car than being restless and unhappy.  We’ll get something to eat, at least they will today is not one of my lucky days in that department, and run and play and potty and then we (they) will sleep, happy to be with the one that loves them and would pretty much give her life for them.

You all have a good day.  Please be thankful for what you have, it can be taken from you in a split second.

Index of Nearly Departed!

For those of you that DO NOT know, here is the link to the index of the entire Nearly Departed series.

You can follow this link and read the story in order up to this point!!

Enjoy!!

Index of Nearly Departed story

A toast to all of mankind

Y'all have waited so long and so patiently for another installment of this story that I wanted to give you a good one, so here it is, the next and probably best, installment of Nearly Departed!!

I hope you enjoy and please, leave me a comment if you want this story to continue!!

“Get your ass in here!”  Lucifer had the ability to project his voice throughout the building.  It wasn’t anything supernatural, it was simply by the intensity of his anger and the weight of his desperation.  He had received a summons from Satan, something no being, living or dead, ever wanted to receive, and he knew that he would have to explain why he had yet to deliver the little ghoul to his father.  “Poorbitch!  Where the fuck are you?”

More E. Poorbitch had become a slave to the raging evil around her.  She hadn’t realized the consequences of her choice until it was too late to turn back.  Now she was at the beck and call of the being she hated worse than she hated her new body.  Opening the door to Lucifer’s office, More wondered if this torment would ever end.  “I’m here.”

“Sit your ass down!  I need some answers and you are going to give them to me!”  Lucifer stared at the once beautiful creature before him.  She had been one of his most useful minions, but lately she was a liability he couldn’t afford.  “Where is Titus?  He was supposed to be here hours ago!”

“It’s not my job to keep track of your dog, Lucifer.  You wanted me to do my part and I did, you’re the one that fucked it all up.”  More E. knew she was being disrespectful, but oblivion was better than the endless torment she lived with.  If she had any luck at all, Lucifer would zap her into the nothingness that she so desired.  “We wouldn’t be in this situation if you’d keep your pants zipped!”

Lucifer stared at the pale, fat blob sitting across from him.  She had never spoken to him in such a manner and he didn’t know if he should be stunned, enraged or amused.  No one had ever so openly defied him, but then again, he’d never turned anyone into a demon incubator before either.

More E. stared at the well-dressed man.  Looking at him it was difficult to imagine he was anything less than a rich businessman, but of course, More E. knew better.  She knew just how dangerous he really was.

“Sorry”, she mumbled.  “I’m having a bad day, I’m not at all well and all the stress about that little bitch is more than I can handle.”

Lucifer stared at her.  He realized she was unaware of the trick his father had played on her, although she probably blamed him for her situation, and she was physically as well as emotionally tormented.  He knew he should cut her some slack, but his own wellbeing was on the line right now, his father was literally going to kill him if he couldn’t get Lisa back in their possession.

“Get out of here.  Go, do whatever it is you do and don’t let me see you again until you at least look like a human again!”  Lucifer raged.  He had made a snap decision to save this old hags existence, and she had damn well better take advantage of it.

More E. didn’t hesitate one second longer than was needed to leave the office.  She didn’t know what had just happened, but she knew she shouldn’t ask questions.  Scuttling out the door, she literally ran into Titus.  The old warrior looked haggard and worn, but he still growled at her and pushed her away with all the disgust he could manage.

“Get off of me you filthy cunnus!”  Titus’ anger exploded.  The fact that this filthy creature touched him made him feel dirtier than the thousands of years spent in hell.  She was the epitome of filth.  He pushed beyond her and, with a look of disgust and fear on his face, entered Lucifer’s office.

More E. stood in the hallway, she was sure she had been insulted, but she had no idea what the ancient warrior had just called it. It sounded curiously like ‘cunt’ but delivered with more grace and a touch of fear.  Perhaps it wasn’t such a horrible thing to have the Dog of Hell show a mediocre of fear when in her presence.  With that thought in mind, More E. smiled and ambled down the hallway toward her very own, dark lair.

Entering the office of Lucifer, son of Satan and Prince of Hell, should have been an intimidating occurrence.  Titus was so full of disgust and hate that he didn’t immediately notice the Prince of Hell staring at him in open mouthed wonder.  Lucifer had heard the exchange between More E. and Titus, he had heard what the ancient warrior had said, complete with the heinous curse he used, a word that he had never before heard uttered from Titus.

Lucifer motioned for Titus to sit.  The ancient warrior, as was his habit, continued standing in an attempt to maintain a modicum of control.  Lucifer realized it was the only way the man before him kept his tedious grip on sanity.  If he could be called sane.

Titus watched Lucifer play with the glass of amber liquid sitting on his desk.  First he would twist the glass to the left, then to the right, causing the liquid to reflect pinpoints of light as it twirled within the tumbler.  Titus was amazed when Lucifer put the crystal tumbler to his lips and drank deeply from the liquid.  In all of his years serving the royalty of Hell, he had never seen one of them drink water, let alone alcohol. 

“You summoned me?”  Titus struggled to keep his voice from betraying his fear.   Lucifer was volatile at the best of times, Titus didn’t relish finding out just how unpredictable he could become.

“Will you please sit down?  I get tired of looking up at you.”  Lucifer’s voice was quiet.  “I realize you feel the need to keep some control, I get it.  But you need to loosen up a little bit.”

‘Loosen up’?  Titus couldn’t believe his ears.  Lucifer, the being that had tormented his existence, that had made him pay for each and every second he spent in memories, had told him to loosen up.   A cold, clammy feeling engulfed him as a tremor of fear slid down his back. 

Without answering, Titus sank into the chair. 

Lucifer shook his head as a look of distaste darkened his servant’s expression.   There was no love lost between the two of them, and Titus had never been afraid to let that fact be known.  But today Lucifer needed to talk to someone, so he ignored the expression on Titus’ face.

Tipping his glass toward the ancient warrior, Lucifer asked, “Would you like a drink?  I have some amazing bourbon that one of my clients left behind.”

Without waiting for an answer, Lucifer reached for another crystal tumbler and filled with the sparkling amber liquid.  Pushing it across the desk, he looked at Titus and raised one questioning eyebrow.

Titus stared at the tumbler of bourbon.  It had been centuries since he had tasted any alcoholic beverage.  Lucifer had made it painfully clear to him that if he ever indulged his hangover would be of the most painful kind.  His mouth watered, he had always had a weakness for the spirits and this golden concoction smelled as though it could erase his pain, at least for a little while.

He hated himself as he lifted his pleading eyes to Lucifer.  He knew his desperation was apparent to the beast across from him, no one could hide their desires from the son of Satan for long.  The way he had mentioned that the bourbon was ‘left behind’ by a ‘client’ was enough to reinforce that point.

Lucifer shook his head, obedience was a necessary evil of his job, and he excelled at his job.  But there were times when that obedience and the fear that drove it was a hindrance.  Right now he needed someone that would simply talk to him, exchange a few pleasantries and get his mind off of the raging mess that was making his life a literal hell.

“I know what you’re thinking, and don’t worry.  This isn’t some twisted test, it is a simple invitation for you to relax for a moment and have a drink with me.”  Once again, Lucifer motioned toward the tumbler.  “Titus, I don’t have anyone who could be considered a friend, I can’t go out and socialize with humans and simply be myself, I always have to be on the job, looking for an angle, for an in.  Right now I need to simply relax, be myself and talk about anything other than the fucking mess that we’re in the middle of.”

Titus stared at him, dazed by the fact that he could sense no compulsion from the creature before him.  Whenever Lucifer compelled him to do his ‘job’ he could feel the dark fingers of evil clenching his spine, it was a feeling that he had come to expect.  Only now that feeling was missing, he wasn’t being compelled to sit here or to take a drink, he wasn’t being compelled to obey for the first time in centuries.

Reaching out a trembling hand, Titus gripped the crystal tumbler and slowly lifted it to his lips.  As the liquid fire burned his way to his gut, Titus felt a calm that had eluded him for well over a century.  Here was the sense of peace he longed for.  Although he realized it was only a temporary feeling, he reveled in it.  Feeling his muscles slowly release the tension that had built up over the many lifetimes of his existence, he allowed his body to sink into the soft leather chair.  Even if this was a cruel trick of Lucifer’s, the fact that he no longer felt as though his body was made of steel was amazing.  He would deal with whatever punishment would be meted out for this brief lapse, for he knew that no matter what he would have to pay for this moment.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”  Lucifer asked, his expression open and earnest.  “I never understood why humans liked to have a drink at the end of their day, or why some of them drown themselves in this stuff, but now I understand.  If it always feels this good, I do believe I will make this a habit.”

Titus was speechless.   There had to be a price for this, there was always a price.  He had not experienced any pleasure in his service to Hell, even his brief lapses from duty gave him no pleasure.  Now, sitting here in the office of Satan’s own son, he felt his first glimmer of pleasure.

It was frightening.

“Why?”  He asked, fearing that he would anger the only creature that had known him as a human, that knew each and every weakness he had ever possessed.  “Why are you doing this?”

Lucifer threw back his head and laughed.  Gales of laughter shook his body and echoed throughout the room.  There was such joy and delight in that laughter that Titus found himself smiling. 

“What?”  Titus asked, his glass now empty and the amber liquid warming his belly.  He found his tongue loosened and his doubts farther away.  “What is going on, boss?  Is there something I need to know?”

At the word ‘boss’ Lucifer laughed that much harder.  Soon tears were streaking his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around his mid-section as though to hold in the gales upon gales of laughter that was escaping his body.  Titus sat, confused and weary once more.  He had never seen this creature act in such a way, never heard laughter so pure and heart-felt escape from its lips.  It seemed as though Lucifer was actually happy, an emotion that didn’t survive long in Hell.

“Sir?”  Titus was becoming concerned for Lucifer.  His father wouldn’t be pleased when the sound of his son’s laughter reached his ears.  As a matter of a fact, he would be pissed off and a pissed off Satan was not something anything in creation wanted to deal with.  Even the Creator has the tendency of becoming unavailable when Satan was pissed, not out of fear but simply because he didn’t want to hear it.

Finally Lucifer managed to get himself under control, at least to the point that he could speak.  Giggles still escaped as he poured them each another glass of bourbon.  Grabbing his glass, he leaned back in his chair and shook his head.  Sipping the amber liquid, he smiled and began explaining the situation to Titus.  The ancient warrior found no humor in what he heard.

“Death has managed to hide that little bitch from us, but you know that”, Lucifer began.  “He has had her long enough that for all points and purposes she is no longer useful to us.  As a matter of a fact, she is probably the biggest threat to us since the Romans organized that hideous church of theirs.”

Taking another sip of bourbon, Lucifer closed his eyes and smiled once more.

“The humans have pondered Heaven and Hell since they first realized the concept.  Then science raised its ugly head and their questions became even more fretful.”  Lucifer took a sip from his crystal tumbler, sighed and closed his eyes in pleasure.  “Science is a concept of my father’s.  I didn’t know if you knew that or not, but Satan came up with this great plan to overcome Heaven with sheer numbers.  He’s been doing pretty well actually.  When old Charles Darwin introduced his idea of evolution he was looked at as a heretic, but given enough time and evidence the idea became a firmly held belief.  Of course, dear old daddy knew it would, so he tampered with some of his ‘pets’ and had the spark of creation sucked from their bodies and the dried out husks planted here and there around this little blue ball we call Earth.  He’s really a genius, you know, a psychopath but a genius none the less.”

“What do you mean by his ‘pets’?”  Titus couldn’t keep the question from his bourbon loosened lips.

Lucifer laughed again.  Not many beings knew of his father’s little experiment using mankind as his subject.  He’d be pissed that Lucifer told Titus, but who gave a fuck, it was all at an end now.

“His ‘pets’ are the demons that didn’t quite measure up to his exacting standards.  He started keeping them around a few hundred thousand years ago, controlling their breeding and the way they were treated.  Then he started killing them off and leaving them here and there across the universe.  They have been called everything from the origins of mankind to space aliens.”  Lucifer laughed again, “Humans have such creative imaginations.”

“You mean all the evidence that mankind has found of great dragons and ancient races that lived in caves is bullshit?”  Titus realized he should speak that way to his boss, but he couldn’t help it.  Even during his time on Earth as a human there had been talk of bones from great monsters found in the desert.  At that time it was considered proof that the Gods ruled the Heavens and Earth with the assistance of great creatures that would trample mankind.  To find out that it was all a joke played by the greatest foe to man was crushing to him.  “None of it really took place?  No dinosaurs, no cavemen, nothing?”

Lucifer stared at Titus.  He didn’t realize the man still held his human beliefs even after so many centuries in service to Hell.  He figured Titus had come to the knowledge that none of his human beliefs were real and that the universe was controlled like a chess game between two beings that were simply bored.

“No, Titus, NONE of it is real.  My Father planted those bones, and the drawings and artifacts that mankind is so intrigued with.  Man was CREATED, just like it says in the Bible, they didn’t crawl up out of the slime to become what they are today.  Although slime is a good description for a large majority of them.  Father knew that if he could come up with a way to turn man from their beliefs he could win this stupid rivalry with the Creator.  And he has turned hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of men and women from the face of Light to the darkness that is science.  They either don’t believe in Creationism, or else they have enough doubt that he can find ways to win their everlasting souls.  And that is what he needs, their souls to twist and torture into whatever sinister thing he desires.  The more souls he has the better his chances of over running this world.  Then he can move on to other worlds until he simply outnumbers the good with his twisted souls.”  Lucifer shook his head.  He was ashamed of his part in this nefarious plot, but he was another creation of his father’s and could only fight against him in simple ways.  Perhaps letting Lisa live would be the end of his own existence, but it would also be the end of his father’s dark plotting.  The fact that she was alive once more, that, for whatever reason, the Creator has laid his hand on her soul and brought it back from the brink of Hell and turned her back to the light, would disrupt the centuries old plans of Satan.  There was no science in creation that could explain what this girl would become and if the Creator had his way there never would be.

“A toast!”  Lucifer sudden said, raising his glass toward Titus. “A toast to the end of this time and the beginning of a new one.  That little ghoul is going to chauffer us into the unknown and we are going to sit here and let her.” 

Titus simply stared at Lucifer as if he were insane, or at least more insane than he’d ever been.  Picking up his glass, he shook his head and joined Hell’s second in command in a toast to end all toasts.  

Fifty shades of gross……

Lisa was slumped in her chair. She had finally stopped vomiting, although her stomach felt as if it could begin again any second. Mitch was cleaning up the mess she had made, his face scrunched into an expression of disgust. He couldn’t believe that she had eaten so much. It wouldn’t have bothered him so much, blood and death, shit and vomit, were all by-products of his job. But Lisa had redecorated his kitchen with gobs of undigested food, and that was something that Mitch could not deal with. No one had ever been allowed in his home before, and having the very first person ever to enter to throw up all over everything, NOPE, NOT acceptable!

“I’m sorry”, Lisa’s voice was soft and miserable. She felt awful, not only physically but for making such a mess. Mitch had been nothing but nice to her, he had done whatever he could to make her comfortable. But she had to make a hog out of herself and then turn into some type of vomit fountain. She was mortified. She couldn’t even look him in the eye, of course that would be difficult right now anyway, seeing as how he was on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor with a scrub brush. He’d cleaned the sink and the counters, he’d scrubbed and bleached almost every surface in the kitchen.

Lisa didn’t understand why he didn’t just wave his hand and make it all go away. Being Death would have afforded him that particular ability, along with untold others. But he choose to clean by hand, something Lisa wouldn’t do if there were an alternative.

Standing up and stretching, Mitch walked to the trash can, peeled off his gloves and toss them into the bin. He stood staring off into space for a few seconds, then turned to face Lisa. Her face was tinged with green, not the ghoul green that had graced her skin after her death, but the slight green that was unique to humans when they were ill.

It was heartwarming to see.

“So, now that we’re done with that, what say we go outside and relax for a bit?” Mitch was doing his best to keep the amusement from his voice. Although it had been pitiful to see her so ill, it was a sure sign that things were progressing nicely.

Lisa raised her head to glance at him. She still felt sick, but at least she wasn’t spewing like a Crown City fountain. Shaking her head, she slowly climbed to her feet.

“You want to go ‘relax’? That’s all you have to say after I redecorated your kitchen?” Lisa quipped sarcastically. “I want to die. Oh wait, been there, done that!”

Mitch burst out laughing. To hear her smart ass remarks made him positive that he’d made the right decision hiding her from Lucifer. This little woman would be either the salvation or the destruction of them all.

Grabbing her hand, he half dragged her out of the house and onto the patio. Fresh air had always helped Mitch to feel better, hopefully it would have the same effect on Lisa. Watching her face as she breathed in the fresh, sweet air, Mitch felt a tug of emotion, one that he hadn’t experienced in centuries. He was beginning to have feeling for this little female, and feelings were always dangerous.

Reluctantly dropping her hand, Mitch gazed out over the beautiful land surrounding his home. When he had first settled here, back before the white man had invaded and forced the original peoples out, it had taken an extreme amount of energy to keep his home hidden from the view of the few humans that wandered by. Now, after so many centuries of keeping his home hidden from view, it didn’t take much effort to accomplish the same task. It had become child’s play to keep this place hidden from any who dared to look.

Mitch glanced over at Lisa. Her color was returning to normal, well, to normal for a living being. He knew he was going to have to explain things to her soon, but he wanted to enjoy a few moments of quiet before venturing into that territory.

Lisa knew Mitch was gazing at her, she could feel his eyes on her and it made her uncomfortable. It had been decades since a man looked at her with that intense, interested expression. She had pretty much given up on that elusive emotion that some called love. She had found out from experience that normal men don’t ‘love’ dead girls, and the type of man that does love dead girls are not the type of people you want to spend time with.

“What are you looking at?” Lisa quietly asked. “I’d think in your line of work you’d seen plenty of dead girls.”

Mitch chuckled. Even though Lisa was miserable, she still had that sharp wit and sharper tongue.
“Yeah, I see my fair share.” Mitch admitted.

“Speaking of dead, am I still dead? I mean, undead or whatever it is they call something like me.” Lisa’s voice held a hint of desperation. “Should I continue to dig my dinner out of the local cemetery or what?”
Mitch wasn’t sure how to answer that. There had never been a being like the one standing before him. That bitch Fred had caused one hell of a mess this time.

“I’m not really sure.” Mitch said. “I don’t have any experience with, well, with whatever it is you’re becoming.”

“Whatever I’m becoming?!?!?! What the fuck does that mean? YOU don’t know what I am?” Lisa was angry. And scared. “If you don’t know, who the fuck does? Momma Fred? Should I be asking her? Or that shit-heel Lucy?”

Mitch guffawed. Hearing her call Lucifer ‘Lucy’ was entirely too funny. No one had the guts to refer to the big, bad, evil businessman as ‘Lucy’ except Momma Fred, who did so in order to throw him off balance, and this little woman, who didn’t realize who, or what, he was.

“No”, Mitch managed between chuckles, “I doubt either of them would have any answers for you.”
Lisa turned away from him, her stance stiff and tight. She stood as still as a statue for a long moment before turning back to him, tears streaked her face, tears that were tinged bright red with blood.

“Then who has answers? You say you don’t know, that Momma Fred or Lucy don’t know. Someone HAS to know what I am.” Lisa’s voice was tight with anger and underlying fear. Reaching up, she swiped the dampness from her cheek. Looking at her hand, she noticed the redness of the tears. “And what the fuck is this? BLOOD?? You’re shitting me, I’m crying blood???”

Mitch just looked at her in complete helplessness. He could see that there was blood tingeing her tears, but he had no answers as to why. He had no answers for any of her questions, and he didn’t believe anyone else did. Hopelessly he shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s it??” She screamed, “That is all you have? A should shrug? What the fuck does that even mean? You don’t know? You don’t care? What the fuck, man! I thought you were my friend, but I guess there are plenty of young woman who followed you into traffic only to be run over by a bus, right?”

She began to pace, seeming unable to contain the anger and fear that surged through her body.

“Fuck! One day I’m a young woman with a life ahead of me, walking home from work when I see this gorgeous man. YOU were that gorgeous man, in case you’re wondering, but I know you’re not. I follow you, just on the chance that I might be able to just say hi, maybe catch your eye, maybe….hell I don’t know, meet you? Then WHAM, I’m slammed into by a cross town bus! No pain, just fear and the though OH FUCK, then nothing.”

Lisa stopped and whirled to face him.

“Next thing I know I’m lying on a table, naked as the day I was born and surrounded by candles. What the holy fuck?? Then I find out I have to eat HUMAN meat in order to maintain some semblance of normal human appearance, after years of that my nose decides to fall off and I eat some fucked up sandwich from the bitch that brought me back and here I am now. Oh, I forgot, I was held hostage in an office building by a man I can only guess is the big, bad Lucifer from Biblical times.”

Silence descended. She crumbled to the patio floor and curled into a ball, effectively shutting down.
Mitch stood quietly, unsure of how to proceed. He wasn’t used to dealing with emotional women, hell he wasn’t used to dealing with women at all. He caught their souls as they met their ends and moved those souls to their place of waiting. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less. No conversation, no emotion, no anything. That was the reason he drove the taxi, he had discovered that he needed some interaction to stay sane.  Not that he thought he was actually sane, just saying.

When Lisa’s tears had dried and her breathing became even and regular, Mitch bent down, picked her up like a mother picking up a sleeping child and headed back into the house.

He would lay her on the couch and let her rest. It was going to be a long, long day and she needed all the strength she could muster.

Toe jam and toast…..

So what has been going on with our little ghoul and cohorts the last few days?  Here is a brief glimpse into their situation and the twists and turns that are plaguing them.  It’s about to get interesting!

While Titus spent the remainder of the morning trying not to reveal things that were best left undiscovered, Lisa was enjoying a long, leisurely brunch with Mitch aka Death.  Bacon, eggs, toast, jelly and all the fixings, along with an assortment of meat, cheese, vegetables and more kinds of bread than she could ever remember seeing.

She’d been somewhat of a bread whore when she was alive.

‘Oh shit’, she thought, ‘I AM alive!’

With the thought ricocheting around in her brain, she gathered up three slices of the most exotic bread she’d ever seen and placed them on her plate.  Then she added several types of cheese, she loved cheese too, a few slices of meat and several toppings.  It was time to munch!

Cramming a tomato slice in her mouth, she headed toward the table.

“So”, she mumbled around a mouthful of tomato, her voice muffled and wet sounding, “explain to me why I’m able to sit here and munch on a tomato instead of having to have a toe-jam sandwich.”

Mitch looked confused.  It was obvious that her humor had caught him off guard. 

“What?”  He asked.

“What, what?”  She replied, although it came out sounding like a noise a sick duck would make instead of a woman asking a question.

Mitch sighed.  Was she being purposely being obstinate or was this just her real personality shining through?

“What is a ‘toe-jam sandwich’?”  He asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Lisa had filled her mouth with an assortment of cheese, tomatoes and meat.  She contently chewed on the mess like a cow chewing its cud, periodically opening her mouth to expose a disgusting mash up of colors and textures.  Swallowing a huge mouthful, she chewed a little more and swallowed again.  Reaching for the orange juice that was sitting on the table, she swigged directly from the jug, the backwash causing Mitch to blanch and subconsciously wonder if he had more in the refrigerator.

“A toe-jam sandwich is exactly what it sounds like”, she answered, reaching for yet another tomato slice.  “You jam a couple of toes between bread smeared with blood pudding.”

“Toes?” Mitch blanched.  “Human toes?”

Chewing contently, Lisa nodded. 

“Yup”, she managed to mumble through a mouthful of tomato.  

Mitch leaned against the counter, he had realized that she usually dined on human flesh, but she usually she wasn’t so blasé about it.  In all the years he had known her, she seemed to starve herself to the point of destruction before she would eat any flesh.   And she would never discuss it with anyone.

Now it seemed as though she wasn’t the least bit grossed out by her previous eating habits.    Although her current eating habits were enough to put most creatures off their feed.

Watching her stuff more and more food into her mouth, Mitch wondered where she were putting all of it.  He had never seen another creature go through so much food.  She had actually eaten everything within arm’s reach and was now getting up to stalk the platters that lined the counter.

“Lisa”, he said, “I think maybe you should slow down.  We’re not sure how your body is going to….”

He never got to finish before she knocked him out of the way in her feeble attempt to reach the sink before she hurled.

Unfortunately for them both, she was unsuccessful.

While Mitch was staring in horror at the endless fount of vomit that was Lisa, there was a drama of an entirely different kind playing out across town.

Titus had talked for hours, revealing more about himself than he had meant to, but managing to reveal less than he expected he would about Death. 

It was difficult to think about his one-time friend.  He and Democritus had lived, loved and fought side by side.  He had witnessed his friend evolve from a rich, scholar to a war hardened killer to a tortured, miserable shell of a man.  One that chose to sell his soul for vengeance, regardless of the price it exacted.

Lucifer must never know the reason that Titus knew so much, it would be the downfall of them all if that information came to light.  To keep such a secret was to risk all, but it could not be helped.

“So, Death and you were all buddy-buddy?  What difference does that make?”  Lucifer had hoped to gain insight into how to find Death, not learn his biography.  “If you don’t have anything more interesting to tell me you can get out!  I need to find him, not relearn history!”

Lucifer sprang from his chair and began to pace, with the way things were going he’d have to replace the flooring in a week, he’d already scuffed the varnish in a few places.  He hated it when things were out of his control, and things couldn’t be more out of his control than they were now.

The shit was about to hit the proverbial fan, and he was in direct line of fire.

“Who was he?  Why is he able to hide from us?”  Lucifer mumbled, his feet pounding a beat as he paced back and forth, back and forth.

“Sir”, Titus began, “his name was Democritus and he was a scientist, a philosopher and a warrior.  When he was a living being he was one of the most respected people in Abdera and a cohort of Hercules.”

Titus looked down, tears sprang to his eyes as he said, “He was my friend.”

The tone of Titus’ voice stopped Lucifer in his tracks.  He had never heard the Bloodhound of Hell exhibit anything other than anger and hatred.  Nothing had ever seemed to affect him, he was always a cold hearted bastard who did what was expected of him.

“Why does this affect you so?  What is he to you?”  Lucifer squinted his eyes as if trying to see Titus differently.  “Were you lovers?  Is that way you are so reluctant to find him?  Or is it something else?”

Titus raised his head and looked at Lucifer.  The look in his eyes would have frozen a lesser being’s soul, but Lucifer’s soul was safely tucked away in a golden vessel hidden from view.  One could never be too careful with their soul.

Lucifer stared at Titus.  It was unusual for Satan’s Bloodhound to defy a request, let alone to outright ignore an order.  There was something about his relationship to Death, some little nugget of truth that Titus wouldn’t divulge.  Lucifer didn’t want to involve his father in this mess.  That would be disastrous not to mention painful. 

There had to be a way to get Titus to talk.  A way that didn’t involve torture, after two thousand years Titus was almost immune to torture.  Lucifer knew there was nothing he could use to threaten Titus with, the man had lost everything that was important to him long ago.  That loss had prompted him to sell his soul, he couldn’t live with the pain and guilt that burned his soul every second of every day. 

Lucifer stopped pacing and slowly walked back to his chair.  He plopped down, leaned back and put his feet up.  It was going to be a long, long day so he might as well get comfortable.  If Titus couldn’t help him, if there was no information forthcoming, then Lucifer was going to have to come up with a different plan. 

“Get out of here.  I’m sure my father has something for you to do.”  Lucifer dismissed Titus with a wave of his hand. 

Caught up in his own problems and schemes, he didn’t even notice the other man smiling as he existed the room.

Bedrooms and dungeons…..

Have y’all been wondering what was going on with our group of assorted ghouls, demons and Voodoo Queens?  Well, you’re in luck.  Here is the next installment of Nearly Departed!!
 
For the second time in twenty-four hours, Lisa woke in a strange bed. ‘This is becoming a habit’, she thought as she stretched and yawned. The revelations of last night slammed into her consciousness like a freight train, causing her to stare at the small, crescent shaped scab that graced the flap of skin between her thumb and finger.

There it was. There was proof that her heart was pumping blood through her veins, her skin was regenerating and she was, for all points and purposes, alive. Or something close to it.

She sighed and looked around. This room wasn’t quite as masculine as the one she woke up in yesterday. It had a light airy touch that made the dark paneling seem to glow with perfection. The white and blue flowered drapes and matching bedspread would look great in a lakeside cabin, while the whimsical prints on the wall would be at home in any environment.

Apparently Mitch, aka Death, was a talented decorator, or at least had access to one. Who would have guessed?

Getting out of bed, Lisa was happy to see she had on the same Armani suit she wore yesterday. At least no one had taken advantage of her while she was out. She wasn’t so sure about her stint at Lucifer’s place. She had begun to get glimpses and memories of her time there, and it wasn’t something she wanted to examine right now.

Stretching again, she was amazed that she felt so good. Escaping the clutches of Lucifer and Momma Fred, leaving the building and making the amazing escape to this wonderful house was exhausting. Then finding out that she wasn’t actually as dead as she had thought, well, that would overwhelm even the strongest of people. Lisa knew she wasn’t the ‘est’ of anything, be it strength or intelligence.

Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, Lisa was stunned by the sight that met her blurry eyes. The woman in the mirror was beautiful, her hair shone with life, her skin was pink with the blush of life and her eyes glimmered with mirth.

Lisa was amazed! She hadn’t looked so good the first time she was alive. She had always thought of herself as being a frumpy girl, not one that any man worth having would be attracted to. The woman she saw in the mirror was alive, assured and filled with promise.
There was an extra spring in her life as she opened the door and headed out to find the kitchen and that amazing first cup of coffee that promised to keep her mood light. The hallway was lit by soft yellow light of well-placed wall scones. The deep, rich burgundy carpet swallowed the sound of her footsteps, making it seem as though she were walking on sunset clouds.

All in all the hallway was the most amazing place she had ever seen.

The sinful carpeting ended as she came to a large, wide staircase. Pausing to look over the rail, Lisa spied Mitch watering a large ficus plant sitting by the door. He was dressed in cutoff jeans and his signature black silk shirt over a green t-shirt blazed with the name of some old seventies band. He looked every bit as decadent as the hallway.
Skipping lightly down the stairs, Lisa found herself looking forward to the day. As Mitch glanced up at her, she realized that no matter what happened now, it promised to be interesting. And interesting was good!

As Mitch and Lisa made their way toward the kitchen, a battle resumed across town.
Lucifer still hadn’t been able to find even a hint of where the two runaways were hiding. He knew that Death could cause him unforeseen trouble, but that was nothing compared to the trouble that would raise its’ ugly head if Lisa made any unsupervised discoveries about herself.

The fact that she was in Death’s control made it a sure bet that there would be discoveries made, and each and every one of them would bring torturous disaster down on Lucifer’s head.

In a fit of rage, he threw his phone across the room only to watch it shatter in a million pieces.

“FUCK!” He raged. “Titus, get your useless ass in here!”

His voice carried to the deepest, darkest pits of hell. Titus quaked with fear, whatever unexpected event that had set his boss off meant pain of the most heinous type of the second in command. Taking a deep breath, Titus flashed himself outside of Lucifer’s study. Steeling himself for the torrent of pain he was about to experience, he knocked.
The answer came immediately.

“Get the fuck in here. NOW!” Lucifer’s voice threatened to break the windows, which would in turn cause him to be even more pissed off.

What a day this was turning out to be.

“You called for me, sir?” Titus hid the loathing and fear that he was feeling. He buried it deep in his soul, a place that Lucifer could never invade. “I came as quickly as I could.”

“’I came as quickly as I could.’ Sure you did.” Lucifer mocked. “Sit your ass down and explain to me why we can’t find that damnable fuck we all know as Death.”

Titus had been gone for a few days, he had spent some much needed time in the 15^th century, visiting the places and people he loved.

“Sir?” Titus couldn’t keep the tremble from his voice. “I’m not sure what you are talking about. I’ve been gone, Sir. Remember, you said I could take a few days as a reward for fixing that little problem with Satan.”

Titus had taken a royal beating from the Big Boss. Satan was enraged by Lucifer’s incompetence in securing the loyalty of a particular politician. It had taken Titus an entire day just to be able to drag himself from the pits of hell and back to his home. Lucifer was, at the time, thankful that Titus had taken the blame and the punishment that only his father, Satan, could dish out.

Now it looked as though Titus was in line for another beating, or worse. He’d never seen his ‘Boss’ as angry, and fearful, as he was right at this moment.

Lucifer sat looking at the demon before him. He remembered the day he bought Titus’s soul in exchange for the ability to return to a happier time. Titus realized that nothing he experienced there would actually change history, but it did afford him a respite from the torments of his day to day life. What Titus hadn’t realized was that the moment he sold his soul he would exist forever. He would have to live with the memories of his failures, and how those failures led to the torture and deaths of every single person he had ever loved.

“I remember.” Lucifer’s voice was flat and emotionless. “But you’re back now and we have a very serious problem.”

“Sir?” Titus knew when Lucifer said they had a ‘problem’ it meant Titus had a problem.

“Death is hiding someone from me. And by hiding I mean that none of my resources can even get a whisper of his location. I need what he had, and I need it now!” Lucifer’s voice rose in volume and anger as he continued to speak. “I expect you to find him, retrieve my item and bring it back here to me. Are you capable of doing that?”

“Sir? I’m not sure of what item you are speaking, but if you will enlighten me, I’m sure I can find it. I am, after all, the bloodhound of hell.” Titus couldn’t help but to prod Lucifer just a little. His father, Satan, had named Titus the bloodhound of hell a few years ago when a certain angel had hidden from both sides after a brief and disastrous affair with a congressman.

Lucifer bristled. He knew he couldn’t actually harm Titus in any real way, but usually threatening him worked just as well. Although he did enjoy beating the lowly demon to unconsciousness from time to time.

This time he knew that Titus would be reluctant to grab the little ghoul that was at the core of all their problems, but reluctant or not, Titus was the best demon for the job. Shifting uncomfortably in his chair, Lucifer tried to formulate the correct way to bend Titus to his will.

“I said for you to sit, if you can that is.” Pity tinged Lucifer’s tone, he’d seen the damage that his father could and would inflict upon those that displeased him, although this time Titus had taken the blame for Lucifer’s fuck up, saving him from the wrath of his father.

Titus eased his large, lanky body into the chair across from Lucifer’s desk. He was sore, but the worse of the pain had eased, in part because of his visit home. There was nothing like seeing your loved ones to ease the physical and emotional pain that haunted him daily.

“I can sit.” Titus’ voice was deadpan. “I don’t understand what you expect of me now, though. I am sure I cannot find the item you are referring to if Death has hidden it from your sight. He’s a tricky one, Death is. He was tricky when he was a man, and he’s worse since he has become the thing he is now.”

Lucifer’s attention was caught by the fact that Titus had known Death prior to his present incarnation. He had never meet anyone that had experience with his nemesis in his previous incarnation. Perhaps there was a tidbit of information that Titus didn’t realize the possessed.

“So”, Lucifer began, “you knew him before he became Death? When was that?”

Titus realized he had revealed more than he meant to. Now there was no way out of it, he would have to tell Lucifer at least part of the story of his friend’s decent into darkness, a decent that Titus was partially responsible for.

Sitting in the chair across the desk from one of the most dangerous beings in creation, Titus took a deep breath and began a tale of one man’s fall to madness.

Death's story is finally coming to light, and it promises to be an interesting one!!  Meanwhile, what could possibly be going on with our little ghoul?  Is she really coming back to life, or is it all an illusion?  Stay tuned to find out!

It’s good to be Queen…..

Here we go, another installment of Nearly Departed.  If you’ve been following the story you know that things are changing for our little ghoul, Lisa.  But she’s not the only one who is experience some upheavals in existence.

Across town a battle raged.  Chairs broke and glass shattered. 

Lucifer was unhappy.  And when Lucifer is unhappy there was literal hell to pay.

“Sit down!”  Momma Fred said in a deadpan voice.  “You’re making things worse with your bullshit right now.  I don’t have time to deal with your tender emotions.”

Lucifer whirled to face her.  His looked insane, his hair stood on end, foam flecked his lips and his eyes were red rimmed and bright.  Gone was the immaculately dressed business man, in his place stood a crazed serial killer deprived of his victim.  He glared at Fred, hatred gleaming in his eyes as he lapping the blood from her gutted corpse.

“Sit down?  You want me to sit down?”  Sarcasm dripped from his dead voice, “Should I tidy up the place first, or does her majesty want me to sit on the floor at her feet?”

His sarcasm only served to fan the flame of anger in Fred’s breast.  He thought he was so important, so powerful, and here he was, taken down a few notches by a living, breathing ghoul.  A creature that had never before existed had simply walked in and batted her big, blue eyes and the big, bad hard-ass that was always in control simply vanished, leaving behind a pitiful example of a smitten male.  If it wasn’t for the fact that they were both screwed, blued and tattooed, she would have laughed.  Seeing Mr. Wall Street badass lose his shit was at the very top of her bucket list.

It’s good to be Queen Shit from time to time.

“Just sit down, Lucy.  We have to make some plans.”  Fred’s voice didn’t betray the satisfaction she felt in seeing him such an emotional mess.   “Death has her now, and we have to get her back before he takes her back.”

It hadn’t been easy to get a life, a new, fresh, unlived life to give to Lisa.  Of course the stupid girl had no idea what she possessed, if she did she could destroy them all and leave the world in rubble, but she had no idea.  She was such an easily controlled little thing, always had been. 

From the first moment Fred laid eyes on the silly girl, she had begun to formulate a plan.  Thirty years of planning and maneuvering, of plotting and taking outrageous risk, all for nothing.  If she could blast that idiot Death back to hell for his interference she would. 

But of course, that was an impossibility.  Not to mention the shit storm of death it would cause.

So here they were, attempting to get a modicum of control over the situation.

While Fred had been pondering the events that led to their current situation, Lucifer had been composing himself.  His full lips were no longer specked with foam and his hair was once again perfectly coiffed.  He looked every bit the businessman that he pretended to be.

“Let me get this straight”, he began as he paced across the room, “you ‘accidently’ sprinkled the sandwich you gave her with a new, unlived life, which caused her to become, for lack of another explanation, a ‘real girl’ once again.  Do I have the correct?”

Even when he attempted to be decent he was still a bastard of the purest form.

“Yes.”  She said.  “I thought I had grabbed some preservative to help keep her from deteriorating worse.  She’d refused to eat human meat, or any type of meat for that matter.  Those wretched salads were just hurrying her decomposing.”

Lisa always had been a problem child.

“So, you’re saying it was an accident that our little puppet is now a living, breathing human?”  Lucifer repeated.

Fred toyed with the truth.  If he knew what Lisa had become it could be disastrous.

“She’s not actually human.” Fred decided a little bit of truth make it easier to hide the facts of the matter.  “She’s something else, she’s still dead, but not dead dead.”

“Not ‘dead dead’!!  What the fuck does that mean?”  Lucifer was on the verge of losing it again.  “What exactly is not ‘dead dead’?”

“Well, her heart is beating, she’s breathing and she doesn’t have to munch on humans to keep from turning into a stinking rotting bag of meat.  That’s what not dead dead means.”  Fred was getting aggravated.  She couldn’t tell him what Lisa had become, but she couldn’t lie about the situation either.  She had to keep the most important tidbit about Lisa’s new existence from ever coming to light.  “I’m not really sure what she is, but she’s not a ghoul or a zombie, she’s not a human either.  She’s something else.”

Lucifer stopped in his tracks.  He realized what Lisa had become, but he knew if Fred knew he knew, he would have no control over the outcome of this royal fuck up.

“So, she’s no longer one of yours, and she’s not one of mine, so she is up for grabs.  Is that what you’re telling me?”  Lucifer knew he needed to act ignorant of the importance of the situation. 

“I suppose you could put it that way.  But I think she’s still under my control to a certain extent.”  Fred wasn’t sure, but she sure as hell didn’t want him to know that.  “I just need to talk to her.  Once she hears my voice she should be easy to control.”

Yeah, right.

“Should be?”  Lucifer asked.  “She should be easy to control, but she might not be, right?”

“Maybe.” Fred hated to admit any more than she absolutely had to.  She realized she was on thin ice right now, and any misstep would draw her under.

“I guess we’ll never know if Death continues to hide her from us, now will we?”  The fact that the sucker of human souls had managed to hide not only himself, but Lisa as well rankled him.  No one had ever been able to hide from Lucifer before.  Oh a few had given him a little trouble in locating them, but no one had ever completely disappeared from his view.

“How is it that he can hide from you?”  Fred couldn’t help but to prod that sore point just a little.  “I thought you had eyes on every creature that exist.  Did something change?”

“No, nothing’s changed”, Lucifer mocked.  “I just haven’t found him yet, but I will.  Oh yes, I will and when I do….”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll go all big bad on him.”  Fred was tired of hearing his threats.  They both knew he could do nothing to Death, and more importantly, Death knew it as well.  “I’ve heard you bitch and rant all night, and I’m sick of it.   We have more important things to deal with than whatever games you want to play on Skeletor.”

Fred was always coming up with not so nice names for people.  It was one of her more annoying habits, that and zapping people only to reanimate them under her control.  She was a cold bitch, but she could be funny sometimes.

Lucifer bit his tongue, the last thing he needed right now was a feud with the Voodoo Queen.  And she was definitely be a Queen, in every sense of the word.  From what he had heard ‘she’ was actually a ‘he’ or at least partly.  He’d never wanted to get under her robes, but he’d heard from more than a few of the multitude that had made that journey.  And a long, strange trip it turned out to be for them.

He sat down in the comfort of his expensive desk chair.  The leather cradled him, leeching the tension from his tight, tense muscles.  Taking a deep breath, he sank deeper into the comfortable chair.  Momma Fred was still rambling on, her voice as irritating as the buzzing of a wasp. 

“LUCIFER!”  Fred’s voice was as sharp as a dagger.  “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying!  Get your shit together boy!”

Lucifer stiffened at being called ‘boy’.  Fred knew that it was a hot point with him, and she used it each and every opportunity she could.

“What!”  Lucifer allowed some of his anger to seep into his voice.  He’d had about all he could take of this old, decrepit….

“Don’t think I didn’t hear that!  Just because you didn’t allow it to leave your mouth doesn’t mean it didn’t reach my ears!”   Fred’s voice was low and tight with suppressed rage.  Of all the Supernaturals in creation, only Lucifer knew her true age and what was hidden beneath the glamour that dazzled the rest of the world.  “I will take you down a notch or two, BOY, and you know that I am capable of it.”

The threat was a real one, he knew from hard experience that Fred was not to be trifled with.  She was a creature of immense power who controlled more of the Supernatural world than any other being.  Even Lucifer’s father, Satan, feared the Voodoo Queen.  And that spoke volumes, no one caused Satan to tremble in fear other than the Creator and this creature before him.

“I’m going home.  You can sit here and stew for the rest of the night, but I have things to do."  Without waiting for him to answer, Momma Fred flounced out of the room, leaving Lucifer to pout about the unfairness of life.

I hope you’re enjoying the story so far!  I love to hear from y’all, so please, take a moment to leave me a comment below, or email me at negotiableinsanity@gmail.com

I’ll be back soon with another installment of Nearly Departed!