Well, it’s not quite that bad, but it’s getting there.
I used to use a planner all the time, back when I had a life. Now, however, I don’t really need one, but I still insist in attempting to control SOME area of my life, even if it is a fictitious social life. You see, I block out time to do my blog, ya, I’m that bad. Hell, I even have a “blog planner” where I keep ideas for posts, records of how many readers I have, who I advertise, where I post links.
Anyway, I block out time to exercise, to meditate, to do yoga, all kinds of goodies. The unfortunate part is that, unless I block out my time in the middle of the night, I never seem to get my stuff done. Now the chores, the appointments, the random lists, they always get accomplished, but the personal stuff….not so much.
It’s not because I done WANT to do those things, it’s because my life is so out of my control right now that I simply CANNOT do those things when I need to. I have to work around obstacles that I won’t even begin to try to explain, just take it to heart that there are things that will prevent you from doing anything enjoyable. Yeah, exercise is enjoyable to me.
Anyway, that is NOT the point of this post.
The point of this point is obsession.
Obsession is many things, it is a desire that is out of control, it is a need that cannot be filled, it is an illness that cannot be cured. It is love, it is hate and it is everything in between.
Some people are obsessed with how they look. They will go to any lengths to have the “perfect” appearance. They will allow themselves to be cut on, stapled, glued, bleached, roasted and basted in order to obtain that “perfect” (to them) look. Who cares if parts of you are plastic, or are pulled so tight that you sneeze out of your belly button. It’s all for a good reason. To look “perfect”.
Some people are obsessed with sex. They read about it, they watch it, they engage in it in every fashion. They will pay for it, they will lie for it, they will do whatever is necessary for that next orgasm. There have been cases where men have masturbated until they bled simply because they were addicted (really??) to orgasms. There are women that will screw anything, any time, any place and any way, simply because they are obsessed with having the feeling that they are “loved”.
Some people are obsessed with other people. Sometimes those other people are celebrities or even fictional characters. There have been murders because of obsession. People so twisted that they HAVE to have this one particular person with them FOREVER. They have killed people, had them embalmed and then SLEPT WITH THEIR CORPSES!!! Yup, you heard me correctly. Then there are the ones that have murdered they victims because they couldn't bear to see them with someone else.
I believe we are all a little bit obsessed about something. With me it’s the planner thing and, well, books. I am obsessed with books. I can’t help myself, it’s a sickness and I realize that, and I do really try to keep from buying more books, but, well as I said it is a sickness.
Which, of course, makes me wonder about things. Things like, does one BECOME mentally ill or are you born that way. Do you DEVELOP a obsession or is there always an obsession about something in your life.
Are some people born “broken”?
By “broken” I mean those ones that aren't just a little bit anything, I mean the ones that are full fledged fucking crazy.
You know, the Jeffrey Dahmers of the world. I mean seriously, was good old Jeffrey just driving around one day and passed by a hitchhiker and thought “Hmmmm, look at that sexy little thing! Bet he’d be good with some BBQ sauce!”? Did Gary Ridgway have sex with a hooker one night and think, “I bet she’d be a better lay if she were dead”?
Seriously, were they broken?? Fuck yes they were broken!!! They were born with something missing that, hopefully, the rest of us have!! At least that is my opinion.
But I wonder. How could a human being become so obsessed with having sex with a corpse that they pick up LIVING people with the idea of turning then into corpses simply so they can screw them?
Obsession can become dark and twisted. It can evolve into something that none of us would ever recognize. Could any one of us become “broken”?
How big of a jump is it to go from having too many books to collecting actual authors?? Is it possible for a normal (well, relatively) person to go so far off the deep end that they become a serial rapist, serial killer or just a serial stalker?
I know it’s sort of a strange topic,but I think about things like this when I can’t sleep, and we won’t go into the reason I can’t sleep, just take it for granted that I am operating on sleep deprivation!!
I don’t understand what motivates people to do the things they do.
I saw a post on Facebook today brought up various questions as well.
This is not the image but it says the same thing:
It’s a good question, what, seriously, was the man doing to the cow??
Or the first person to eat an egg!! WTF?? You see something shoot out of a birds ass and decide it looks good enough to eat??? Seriously???
Makes being slightly obsessed with planners seem like a good thing, doesn't it?
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