So......it wasn't enough

Well, the title of this blog is "Negotiable insanity and other nonsense" which is perfect because I didn't think it was enough to have just ONE blog, NO, not ME.....I decided to do TWO! That is an example of Negotiable insanity!!


If you've gotten this far, you may have noticed that in my interest I put "teaching cats to sew". Well, there is a reason for that, although it may not make any sense to anyone but me. You see, I have a cat, actually I have three cats, but who's counting?? Anyway, this one cat, Tiver, is, well, I guess the polite way to put it is "mentally handicapped" or the not so polite way would be simply to tell you that this cat is "not right"!!

~~DEVIL KITTY~~

I love yellow ginger kitties! You know what I mean, the yellow tiger striped cats that have the glorious golden eyes! Tiver, the subject of this particular post, came to me by way of a lovely young lady named Lexi. Lexi and her family live on the same street, in the same small town, where I had, until recently, resided. Lexi looked at me with her big blue eyes and said, "Miss Teri, will you take Tiver? I know you will give her a good home." Then these little tears started welling up in her eyes and the rest is history!


You've heard of "water dogs" well, Tiver is a "Water cat". She, unlike most cats, LOVES water! You can find her at various times either sitting in the sink or, if you've leave the lid up, the commode! Yes, the cat sits IN not on the toilet!! Rain doesn't bother her, neither do baths or showers or being sprayed with the water bottle (that is, unless you sound mean when you do it).


She also loves sitting on the top of doors so she can bat you on the head when you walk by. She sleeps with the dogs, plays with her food and refuses to come when you say "Kitty, kitty, kitty". All of this is cute, isn't it??


Well, the cuteness ends when Tiver finds a piece of cloth. Any piece of cloth will do, the curtains, my socks or, her personal favorite, the shower curtain. I have had to replace more shower curtains since I've gotten this stupid cat than I have ever bought in the previous 40 years!!!



You see, she doesn't PLAY with cloth, she shreds it! She picks it, she snags it, she rips it....and if all else fails she will on occasion piss on it!! The cat is a menace!! She doesn't only bother anything cloth that may be laying around, NO, not HER.....she likes to attack the cloth that is on your body, never mind that her little claws will sink in deeper than most hypodermic needles. She will slash at your socks when you walk by, not at your ankles, NO, if you walk by "sockless" she will ignore you. Pointedly! She will hang from the cuffs of your pants or, if you are really unlucky like me, your shorts!


She will shred a shower curtain in under three minutes. Not the plastic part that hangs inside the tub, not her, just the pretty cloth part that adds flare to the bathroom.


She will climb curtains with the speed and dexterity of a spider monkey in it's natural habitat!


She will search out and destroy random socks with such precision that it would shame most Bomb squad experts!!


She will carry dish towels in her mouth and hide them like a squirrel finding and hiding nuts for a long hard winter!


The cat is cloth crazy!


She's a good hunter, although she insist on bringing live mice into not only the bedroom, but MY BED!! (It's a funny story.....check it out here. It's near the bottom of the page.)


She's cute! She looks so innocent! She's such a "dear"......yeah right, and Hitler was a little maladjusted!!

Well, I took a little break from composing this to check out the bathtub drain. If you're wondering what I mean by that, check out this link for my other blog and the entire leaky pipes saga! (Yes, I am shamelessly promoting my other blog, so sue me....not that you'd get much, but you can try!!)

Since the drain didn't seem to be leaking, I decided to take a bath....not a shower, but an actual bath! I ran my water, standing watch over the tub the entire time in case some water decided to invade the bathroom carpeting again, undressed and got into the tub. I soaked, I scrubbed, I shampooed and conditioned. the only thing I forgot was to CLOSE THE BATHROOM DOOR!!


Tiver had been sleeping peacefully on top of a few of the boxes that I have as yet not unpacked. She was kitty snoring and dreaming whatever demented dreams a cloth obsessed cat dreams. I figured it was safe to bath while the little "angel" was sleeping......boy was I wrong.


Do you have any idea how much cat hair will stick to a wet, naked human body? I do, and let me tell you, it's a lot!!


You see, Tiver decided that she should help me bath....so she dived, not stepped, not jumped, not even sprang, but literally DOVE into the tub. Then, she began rubbing her wet cat hair an any and all reachable parts of my body. Needless to say, it didn't end well! There is a damp kitty trail leading under my bed, where Tiver is now licking herself so that every remaining hair is back in it's original place. I had to shower in order to get the "non-remaing" hair off of myself......you wouldn't believe how much hair that was. then I had to wash out the tub, TWICE, in order to get rid of all the Tiver left-overs!! When that was done I had to sop up the wet cat trail and throw too many towels in the wash.

I'm finally beginning to understand why people think that cats are EVIL!!


Well, I'm out of here. Time to see how hig the sleeping dogs with jump when I start the vacuum.

I'll blame it on the cat!!